Showing posts from August, 2016

Disney Emoji Blitz

Disney Emoji Blitz is everything I could have ever wanted Bejeweled Blitz to be and more. As an avid player of the weekly tournament style social network game, Disney Emoji Blitz brought me back to the rush of climbing my leaderboard of social network friends and competing for high scores. There are a few strange things like not being able to pick the entirety of your team, but otherwise Disney Emoji Blitz is a great time waster for anyone who likes Bejeweled Blitz or Pokémon Shuffle style games and have a few minutes to kill here and there.

Writing about the narrative will be an easy task because there is no story to this game. Not even an overworld map akin to Candy Crush - this is a game where you enter gameplay from a menu and play for a minute at a time, give or take a few seconds. The characters run the gamut from classic Disney to recent hits - Pixar included. None of the characters have more than a special move and a unique soundbite, but the designs are at least well done and…

Pokémon GO

It's no secret that I love Pokémon. Ever since I was a kid with little understanding of game mechanics and examining the inner workings of it, I played Pokémon Red. That being said - I don't really like Pokémon GO. It's a great idea, mind you, and if I were a child with a smart phone I think I would love it. The fact of the matter is, I don't want to wander aimlessly across town to play a game on my phone. That's never been a part of my mentality as a person, though I can appreciate that it is in fact getting people out and exercising which was the intended effect.

In a nutshell, you play a character catching Pokémon from the original Red / Blue / Yellow roster, checking in at PokéStops and battling for real-world turf that has been turned into Pokémon gyms within the game. After about a week of passive play, you're allowed to join one of three teams, all of which are based on the three legendary birds (Articuno, Zapdos, or Moltres) and battle for superiority.…

XCOM 2: Anarchy's Children

"This rebellion-themed content pack introduces more than 100 new exotic customizations for the entire arsenal of armors available to your XCOM soldiers. These options are purely cosmetic and do not alter the stats of a soldier."Anarchy's Children is kind of dumb. Firaxis sold a lot of consumers on a season pass called the Reinforcement Pack and promised three fully featured DLC's over the course of the year. What better way to start off the package with extremely out of place costumes? It might not even be as bad if there wasn't such an active modding community who have already created bigger and better customization packs than this that can be downloaded for free. I'll describe the contents of this add-on as cyber-punk biker gang outfits and accessories from the future.

To recap, for five-dollars (or included in the twenty-dollar season pass), you get a lot of stuff that doesn't fit the theme of XCOM's universe and can create a narrative dissonance i…

XCOM: Enemy Unknown Plus

Finally XCOM is on a proper handheld game system - after years of ports to Android and iOS devices Firaxis Games finally brought their beloved franchise to the PlayStation Vita. Unfortunately, there are many issues plaguing Enemy Unknown Plus keeping it far away from perfection. It's still one of the better games for the PlayStation Vita but without the promise of maintenance patches and withholding a large amount of content that I can still access on my Kindle Fire HDX, I found it to be not dead on arrival, but rather stripped of its glory.

If you've been around here since we started writing reviews, you'll know we love us some XCOM, so I'll summarize the narrative here because you've likely read it upwards of three times by now. The Earth's governments are scared of an unknown enemy (get it?), so they band together to create a secret army known as XCOM. The player takes the role of commander and oversees absolutely every small detail, from every turn of comb…


NOTE: If I ever come across as offended or subjective in this review, please forgive me - I always try to remain objective regardless of the material I'm covering. Honestly, I felt weird buying HuniePop - heck I felt weird playing it. It was available during the Summer Steam Sale for less than five dollars so I took the plunge based on some video game streamer's reactions. It's a very simple game in every capacity, about manipulating women into having intercourse with the player by buying them gifts, getting them drunk, and learning about them (though it's not necessary to learn about them at all to have sex with them). It's sexist, crude, and extremely inappropriate - but the matching puzzles are reasonably fun for what it's worth.

The player is a man or woman (you choose before the game starts) who doesn't get any action. A scantily clad fairy then begins to dish out advice candidly as if women are objects to be had - I would seriously love to see a femi…

Fallout 4

Fallout 4 is all about player choice. Not really from a narrative aspect, but all in regards to gameplay. You can play sneakily or go loud any chance you get. You can hack a terminal to open a safe or you can just pick the lock - which have both been pretty standard options since Fallout 3 and New Vegas, but the point still stands that the player is present challenges constantly and given the chance to conquer them as they see fit. That being said, I love Fallout 4 much more than I thought I would (it's another one of those 2015 games I passed on).

You play as an ex-soldier, living a great life with your wife, baby, and plucky British robot. After buying a slot in a local fallout shelter "vault," an attack takes place thrusting the story along quickly. I'll try to avoid too many spoilers here so I won't say what exactly the vault entails, but it's not what we're used to when we think about vaults. After a while, you need to find your son in …

Minecraft: PlayStation 4 Edition

I've spent more time with Minecraft than any other game in my library at this point. There was a small section of that time on the Xbox 360 Edition, but largely I've wasted days and nights away with the PlayStation 4 Edition. It brings me back to the days where I had a large tub full of LEGO pieces and I would build for hours on end anything my heart desired. There are a handful of things that are specifically made, but structures such as houses are all about player imagination and creativity. While I like the building process the most, I can't justify using Creative Mode as I'm a gamer at heart and crave a challenge.

In Minecraft there is no grand narrative or objective. There aren't even notable characters or any means by which the game attempts to tell the player a story. Everything from the start is up to you. There are some set rules to get you going but whether or not you role-play or just inhabit the world you're placed in is entirely up to you. With th…

Top 10 Video Game Disappointments

Hello, everybody and thanks for stopping by to welcome in August with us! I thought I'd mix up this month's top 10 by making it more of a negative list as opposed to our usual positive "Best of," and "Favorite" variety. First I want to clarify what I mean by "Disappointments." If I played a game and didn't really expect it to be good and it turned out bad - that's just a bad game that I had low expectations for. However, if I played a game that I was super hyped up for and it turned out abysmal? That's a disappointment.

So there's not going to be anything like Kitten Squad on this list because, let's face it - that was just an awful game and we all knew that going into it, plus nobody was chomping at the bit to play it. With this list, instead of the number one slot being the best of the best, it's actually the crap of the crop - but that might have gone without saying. Finally, only base games are allowed and mobile games…