HuniePop

NOTE: If I ever come across as offended or subjective in this review, please forgive me - I always try to remain objective regardless of the material I'm covering.
Honestly, I felt weird buying HuniePop - heck I felt weird playing it. It was available during the Summer Steam Sale for less than five dollars so I took the plunge based on some video game streamer's reactions. It's a very simple game in every capacity, about manipulating women into having intercourse with the player by buying them gifts, getting them drunk, and learning about them (though it's not necessary to learn about them at all to have sex with them). It's sexist, crude, and extremely inappropriate - but the matching puzzles are reasonably fun for what it's worth.

The player is a man or woman (you choose before the game starts) who doesn't get any action. A scantily clad fairy then begins to dish out advice candidly as if women are objects to be had - I would seriously love to see a feminist play this game. You end up meeting something to the tune of seven women with some secret surprises here and there. Every girl has a two-dimensional personality with no depth what-so-ever. For example, the crass woman can be won over by responding in curse words whenever she asks you a question. The shy one will swoon if you say you're introverted. From a narrative standpoint, as a dude with no "game," these women are all extremely eager to have sex with you.
And don't forget the slightly older woman who can't contain herself.
Every girl in the game will awkwardly spout lines pertaining to their personalities and will quiz you based on what you've learned about them. But don't worry, even if you fail every question they ask - they're still perpetually down to clown. In fact the only real skill check in the game is filling up the date meter during an outing with the woman of your choice using 20 turns and some power-ups within the puzzle matching segments. It's a type of visual novel with a text and portrait overlay, and full voice-overs for every character, every now and then you'll unlock one of three pictures of the ladies with the fourth being unlocked only after doing the hanky panky.

The amount of time you play is up to you. I have a pretty strong stomach so-to-speak for viewing such blatant sexist material, so I've played for about four hours at this point. That being said, I've probably had my fill, though I still have two more women to sleep with. The visuals are good. The girls are designed to appeal to specific people depending on their lifestyle and the unlockable pictures look as if they were professionally produced and manga-ready. The puzzle pieces look similar to most other games out there with a heart, moon, star, etc., and the sets all look decent. Voice-over work is great and I was surprised that it was included. The background music was okay but it was nothing to write home about, and the sound effects are all pretty generic like bell chimes when giving gifts.

Getting the game to start playing properly was a headache. I'm using Windows 10, and can play any other game without trouble, but HuniePop has a strange 4:3 aspect ratio and I would have to click about an inch to the left to hit what I was trying to do. I eventually fixed it through the compatibility section of the .exe, but a patch for full HD and fixing the woes of constant mis-clicks should be in the pipeline considering the popularity of the game. I couldn't tell much in the way of the frame rate, but the resolution looks locked at 640x480p.
Make good use of this stat page for maximum manipulation of women.
Gameplay in HuniePop comes in a few different flavors. You meet a girl, talk to her a bit (if you want), feed her and give her gifts, and then go on a date. If you get at least four "date hearts" I'll call them, you can go out with the lady at night, get her liquored up and take her back to your place. Dates and the sex puzzles are all about matching three things. Certain girls like different colors more than others and there's the ever present danger of matching three broken hearts which will set your progress back a bit.

There are some items that you can use during puzzles, some of which get rid of all of one color on the grid, others keep you safe by converting the broken hearts into hearts. During dates you have 20 turns to get an amount of points, and during sex you have a countdown timer which keeps you on your toes and matching. It was quite distracting to have the women moaning extremely loudly during the sex mini-game. Eventually the end goal is to get the not-safe-for-work picture from the women you do the dirty deed with and collect their panties like a trophy. There's no online play or leaderboards but there are achievements to unlock via Steam.

Truthfully there's not much more to say about HuniePop. As a game made by men, for men I guess it achieves what it set out to do but I can't say it's a game for me. As sad as it is, there are some men out there who take this game very seriously - but it won't be worth more than a couple of laughs to the average every-man. I could see this game being played at a party or with the gang for giggles, ultimately it's just not super good though. If you like puzzles and anime girls who's only goal in life is to sleep with you, then this might be your kind of game.
Getting some action.
Let's Review:
  • Very sexist portrayal of women
  • Very inaccurate portrayal of women
  • Formulaic gameplay
  • Fine visuals and decent sound design
  • Puzzle matching is fun enough
HuniePop gets a 4.5 out of 10.

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